Author's Note: Well, the original Ribbits had grown so rich, he wanted to retire, so he took me to his cabinboy and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Ribbits', he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Ribbits, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate Ribbits either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Ribbits has been retired 15 years and living like a king in a swamp in Patagonia...'